I know this has been done. Perhaps even overdone. But, it hasn't been done by me. So, I'm doing it, and I'm making no apologies!
Welcome to my year...in words and in photos. I hope you enjoy your visit!
One year ago today, my dad celebrated his 77th birthday. It was a Friday. Dad had dialysis that morning, so I knew he would spend a good portion of the afternoon napping, since the dialysis wore him out. I didn't want to wake him, so I decided to wait until later in the evening to call him.
As often happens, I got to work and lost track of time. When I realized I still needed to call Dad, it was after 9 PM. Mom usually goes to bed pretty early, so I was worried about waking her and couldn't decide if I should call, or wait until the next morning. I had finally decided to wait, when something inside told me it was important that I call that night, and that if I woke Mom, she would forgive me.
So I called.
It was a brief call. Dad and I chatted for 5 to 10 minutes is all. But I got to tell him happy birthday, on his birthday. Had I not made that call, I would still be regretting it today.
None of us had any idea that just two days later we would say our final goodbye.
Dad always enjoyed a cold beer. Over the last several years he wasn't able to enjoy one as often as he used to, but every once in a while he and I would sit down and have a beer together. We'd talk, we'd laugh, and he would inevitably tell me a story. Sometimes I had already heard it, and sometimes it was new. But it never mattered. He was an amazing story teller, and I always enjoyed listening. I miss those times with my dad, but I look back on those memories and smile. I wouldn't trade those moment for anything!
In honor of his birthday this year, we went to the cemetery and shared a beer with Dad.
We cried and we laughed, and I know he was there with us smiling and laughing, although he was probably a little annoyed that we were crying. He wouldn't want us to cry. He would only want us to look back on his life and smile, happy that we were part of it.
Here's to you, Dad! Happy birthday! I love you, and I miss you like crazy.
I started this blog on January 1, 2014 fully committed to posting every day, sharing my year through pictures and words. The universe, however, had different plans for me. So here I sit, reflecting on the year, and all the changes and challenges it has brought. 2014 was a year of transitions. Some difficult, some exciting, some joyful, but all life changing. I end the year a different person than I was when it started, but I guess that's kind of how it works for everyone. We change and grow as time passes. It feels like maybe this year, for me, there was just a little more change, a little more growth, than normal.
So here is my year in review. The good, the bad and...you get the idea.
Saying goodbye.
"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love."
~Washington Irving
Not a day goes by that I don't think about my dad and miss him, so much. Some days the grief still stops me in my tracks and steals my breath. Losing him turned my world upside down and I am still working on getting used to my new normal. Not sure how long it will take, but I know I will get there someday. Until then, I take each day as it comes and place one foot in front of the other. I cry, I laugh, and I remember how incredibly blessed I am to have been raised by the most amazing man I will ever know.
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I love you, Dad. I miss you more than words could ever say.
New Adventures.
"If you can dream it, you can do it." ~Walt Disney
I decided in late September to start my Pampered Chef business. It was a scary and exciting decision, and those emotions stick with me today. Since then, Pampered Chef has taken over my kitchen (and the kitchens of some family members as well!) So far I am really enjoying the process, and hope to continue to grow my business in the new year. If you need anything for your kitchen, you know who to call ;)
Welcome home. Finally!
"Where thou art, that is home." ~Emily Dickinson
It was almost 6 years in the works, but Vince was finally able to find a job here in Colorado and make the move from Houston! I flew to Houston on September 26th, we whirlwind packed, loaded up the truck and were home on the night of October 1st. The trip was exhausting, but pretty uneventful until the last leg when we hit a slight bump in the road, so to speak. One bump in the road isn't too bad for an 1100+ mile drive!
In the end we made it home safely, and it has been amazing having him here...finally! It was a long time coming, but so totally worth the wait! We celebrated 6 years, and my birthday, on December 10, and I am looking forward to so many more!
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My favorite moments.
"We do not remember days, we remember moments." ~Cesare Pavese
Through all the ups and downs of the year, there were some amazing moments that I will never forget. While I can't begin to include them all, here are a few of those moments...
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So long 2014.
"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
As I bid farewell to 2014, I have no idea what the new year will bring, but whatever it may be I wish you all a happy, healthy and prosperous 2015!
Yesterday was the 57th anniversary of the day my parents got married. What an amazing love, and life, they shared. And what an amazing gift that love, and life, was to all of us kids.
I am so grateful that God chose to bless me with such amazing parents. I learned so much from them both, not the least of which was the meaning and importance of love, of family, of forgiveness.
Thank you Mom and Dad for all the gifts you have given me. I love you, with all my heart!
Losing someone you love is never easy. Whether the loss is sudden and unexpected, as with my dad, or there is a period of knowing, "preparing", before the loss. Saying goodbye, letting go, is hard for those of us left behind.
This morning, the father of a childhood friend passed away after a long struggle with cancer. My heart aches for her, and for her family, as I know all too well the pain they are feeling now. I wish I had words of wisdom to help ease their pain, but I don't. I can only offer them my condolences and prayers.
This morning I am crying, not only for my loss, but for theirs as well. I hope time, and love, faith and family, bring us all peace and fewer tears as we remember the happy times.
Rest in peace, Mr. Perkins. I can still hear your voice on the sidelines at our soccer games yelling, "Go posies!".
Growing up, I always knew my dad was big and strong. His outward appearance gave the impression of a "tough guy", which he could be when the situation warranted it, but most of the time he was a big teddy bear. Especially for us kids. He was never the best at saying he loved us, but he had an amazing talent for showing us how much we meant to him.
I remember getting a card and some candy from Dad every year on Valentine's day when I was a kid. For many years, the candy was a box of pecan turtles. I remember the first bite of my very first valentine turtle. I thought it was the most disgusting thing I had ever eaten! But I never told Dad. And every year I'd get another box. Over time I learned to love those darn things. Now, all these years later, they are one of my favorite candies, and every time I eat one I think of my dad and smile!
A few years ago, when I moved to Loveland and was close to Mom and Dad again, the Valentines from Dad started again too. He carried the tradition on to my daughter as well, and I know how very special that was for her.
Those little tokens of his love meant so much to me over the years...and I will forever cherish the memories they created.
It's so hard to believe it's been a whole month. In some ways, the time seems to have gone by so quickly. And in other ways, the days have just dragged on and on.
I know, in time, things will be easier, although I can't really imagine that right now. My heart is still broken and I can't imagine it ever feeling better.
I love you Dad. I miss you more than words could ever express.
